World News:"Forget singles bars, on-line dating, and friends fixing you up on blind dates. If you're really serious about finding a date, you'll head to your local supermarket! So says Rod Forqeuwe, author of the self-help book, Bagging More Than Groceries. Tells many techniques to help men score. The produce section is filled with phallic shaped fruits and vegetables. Pick one up, hand it to the woman you want, and ask if she can help you tell if it's ripe. If she's interested in you, she'll actually start to subconsciously caress it. Similarly, in the meat section, hand your targeted hottie a rump roast and asking, Can you tell me if my rump is tender enough, or will I need to take it home and beat my meat? The theory here, is to get her smiling. Once she's smiling, she's in a receptive mood to be asked out. One time, I held up two packages of chicken breasts so that the woman's breasts were in between them, and innocently asked, Excuse me, could you help me choose which of these breasts would be most succulent in a white cream sauce? He remembers cooking her breakfast the next morning. Okay please don't tell me, you guys are running out the door to your local books. Sorry if you came up to me in a store and said these things, I'd think you were a FREAK!!"
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